Beauty Secrets

Janet "Tubby" Jackson

2006-01-14T23:09:00.000-05:00

This should be a lesson to all. Giving your biological daughter to your sister to raise, then having that daughter (who, by the way, look just like you) go on Extra and claim she's yours, then you denying that she's not can really do a number on the body.

Britney's Back

2006-01-12T13:48:00.000-05:00

Is that not the most nastiest, ugliest back you've ever seen?!?!?!?!

Taking a break

2005-12-27T22:37:00.000-05:00

Hello hello! I've been away for a bit, and will be for a little bit longer. Unfortunately, I don't have the luxury of blogging at work anymore, so I need to cut back. Eventhough I wasn't blogging about beauty secrets, feel free to e-mail me with comments or questions about beauty, skincare, haircare, celebs and everything in between. For great reads, visit www.carrcakes.blogspot.com & www.theenabler.blogspot.com

Til next time...

Christina Aguilera's Lovely Marriage

2005-12-12T21:38:00.000-05:00

This guy must have a magical penis, because I just don't get it.

Mr. Spears on Cell Phone

2005-12-01T21:25:00.000-05:00

He looks... um ... clean?

Jessica Alba in Soho

2005-12-01T11:11:00.000-05:00

Where does one find a tie this big?

Team Nick or Team Jessica?

2005-11-30T19:50:00.000-05:00

Ready to take sides on the Jessica and Nick split?
Team Nick and Team Jessica shirts are available now!!!! Stop by the store to purchase!

The Biggest Loser Winners

2005-11-30T13:16:00.000-05:00

Third Place - Suzy

Second Place - Seth

The BIGGEST LOSER - Matt!

Kristin Cavallari UPN Gig

2005-11-30T13:09:00.000-05:00

For more Kristin Cavallari, be sure to check out UPN in January where Kristin Cavallari will co-host reality TV show Get This Party Started with Extra's Ethan Erickson. Get This Party Started will "feature an elite team of Hollywood party planners working with a well-deserving person's friends and family to surprise them with a "very spectacular and extravagant event" held in their honor." UPN has ordered a total of eight episodes of the hour-long series so far.

Crazy Lady from Trading Spouses on Jay Leno

2005-11-30T00:28:00.000-05:00

I just watched this woman on Jay Leno. She would like everyone to know that's not a missing tooth, that's a gap.

I can now sleep more sound tonight.

Ben Affleck and Dogs

2005-11-30T00:10:00.000-05:00

Jennifer birthed a labrador.... and apparently turned into a german shepard, with a very stylish collar if I don't say so myself.

Tom Cruise With Keri Russell on Mission Impossible Set

2005-11-21T23:21:00.000-05:00

"That's a great belly to make a Hubbard Baby"

"Wanna marry me? Katie won't mind"

Kristin Cavallari Likes the Paparazzi

2005-11-21T23:14:00.000-05:00

Kristin Cavallari with Brody Jenner, courtesy of JJB Board
Somebody CLEARLY likes being followed by the paparazzi. Hopefully, that will never wear off.
As someone on the JJB board put it, ROOKIE!!!!

Latest Jennifer Aniston and Vince Vaughn Pics

2005-11-19T14:43:00.000-05:00

Nothing says "we're in love" more than a hug from behind.

Alex M. from Laguna Beach

2005-11-17T16:03:00.000-05:00

I can't wait for the E! True Hollywood Story on these assholes.

Kevin Federline and Dad Go Shopping

2005-11-16T12:18:00.000-05:00

Can you find the bag of Cheetos??!?!

Serena Williams... And, Um... A Rather HUGE ASS

2005-11-16T12:08:00.000-05:00

Um... I don't know what to say. This is wrong in so many ways.

And she's wearing a f*cking Ed Hardy hat.

Crabs bothering you?

Nicole Richie on Larry King

2005-11-16T12:04:00.000-05:00

"Larry. Last night I had a dream I ate a hamburger THIS big"

Trucker Hat Again? Really?

2005-11-16T11:57:00.000-05:00

The new trend in trucker hats this season is Ed Hardy. Personally, these hats are ugly and I suppose the only reason Jessica Alba is wearing it is because it was free and she's getting paid to wear it.

Jennifer Lopez - Leann Rhymes

2005-11-11T16:40:00.000-05:00

"You shutup Mr. Leann Rhymes. What did I tell you about interrupting me when I'm speaking?"

Eddie Murphy's Family

2005-11-10T16:52:00.000-05:00

Taken from www.urbansoulnation.com:

"Much fuss has been made over the reason behind why Eddie and Nicole Murphy’s marriage has broken up. There are two theories: The first one: Eddie caught Nicole sleeping with his bodyguard. The second one: Eddie is a Down Low Brotha who has had an on-going relationship with singer Johnny Gill. Which one is true…only the parties involved know. Hell, it could actually be a combination of the two!

So what’s up with all of this talk about Celebrity Brotha’s on the DL? How many have you heard about?

The ex-girlfriend of New Edition and LSG singer Johnny Gill is now speaking out about her recent split up with the singer. She tells Atlanta Gossip, (AG) reporter Tiffany Long that Johnny is struggling with his sexuality and that Hollywood has put pressure on him to be straight.
“Johnny and I broke up earlier this year after I became curious about his friendship/relationship with actor/comedian Eddie Murphy,” she said. “Johnny and Eddie have always been very close friends, but I could not compete with their relationship. It was strange...I can’t even explain it,” she tell Atlanta Gossip.

Other sources tell (AG) that Johnny Gill is actually living in a guest house on Eddie Murphy’s property in CA. A posting on taken from blackvoices.com entertainment forum says this: Rumors are circulating throughout Hollywood about the Eddie’s divorce battle, I was talking to an industry friend last night 08/15/05, she said, Nicole got sick of putting up with him and Johnny Gill.

People had warned her yrs. ago about the downlow rumors, even one of her close family members, but she chose not to believe it until she witnessed it, Eddie had got to the point where he didn’t care, he often told her, he was the breadwinner and to stop asking him stupid questions about where he was going and who he was with.

He became so brazen, Johnny came over to their house every holiday, sitting at the head of the table with Nicole and the kids. Tevin Campbell, Sugar Ray, Tyler Perry and Shemar Moore are also heavily involved in this scenario, they tried to recruit Mike Tyson (when he had money) but it wasn’t his scene. Johnny is pathetic, he was with all these men and did not benefit, before he reunited with New Edition, he was so broke, he lived in Sugar Ray’s Guest house and I heard his wife wasn’t too happy about it.
Sources say at the New Edition Album release party, Johnny got extremely drunk and made a pass at P. Diddy.

They also stated that the following gentlemen are involved in their circle of DL brothers: Arsenio hall, football player Johnnie Morton and Benny Medina. They said that the reason his wife stayed knocked up is so she wouldn’t be suspicious of his extra activities."

Paris Boyfriend Crash

2005-11-10T09:25:00.000-05:00

Paris Hilton's boyfriend, Stavros Niarchos (greek shipping heir), crashed her Bentley. I can't be positive, but I think the crash had something to do with a coat covering his head.

http://tmz.web.aol.com/1108_Paris_accident_dl.swf

Jojo is a Squirrel

2005-11-10T00:45:00.000-05:00

You know her, remember? "Get out... right now.... its the end of you and me!"

Yea well, she's apparently a squirrel. In fact, right now, she's storing five acorns in each cheek.

Jessica Simpson NYC November 9th

2005-11-10T00:38:00.000-05:00

She is walking a very fine line with those pants.

And by line... I mean camel toe.

Lohan Promo Shots

2005-11-10T00:34:00.000-05:00

A huge clock around her neck and she's set. And i'm not feeling the freckles... it looks like splattered bacon grease.

I'm Obsessed

2005-11-09T11:59:00.000-05:00

They are.... The Backdormitory Boys.

Mary Kate and Ashley - ACE Awards

2005-11-09T01:01:00.000-05:00

I just don't think shaping your eyebrows like boomerangs is a good idea.

Blonde or Brunette?

2005-11-09T00:16:00.000-05:00

US Weekly weighs in on the debate. Myself? I'm partial to brunette.

Cameron Diaz on UK TRL

2005-11-08T00:40:00.000-05:00

I'm opening this one up to comments.... feel free to caption as you wish.

Kristin Cavallari Rolling Stones Pics

2005-11-08T00:25:00.000-05:00

I guess this was only a matter of time. I still like L.C. better. (L.C. has a website too!)

(JJB Board)

For every other Laguna Beach fan out there, here's Taylor's webshots homepage. Tons of pics of Laguna peeps and her college peeps.

Angelina Jolie on the Set of Beowulf

2005-11-07T18:01:00.000-05:00

This is what I imagine Jennifer Aniston might do if she could get her hands on Angelina. She looks like a human game board.

(image courtesy of the JBB board)

Body Bistro

2005-11-07T17:35:00.000-05:00

As seen on Extra TV and used by Halle Berry, Christina Applegate and Bruce Willis, Body Bistro's best seller is the Green Apple + Neem Eye Jelly. Reduces sags, bags and puffiness. Perfect for those hangover eyes. Throw it in the refrigerator for an added plus. Visit Body Bistro's online store to purchase. Right now, there's a special offer for FREE SHIPPING on orders over $75.

What Celebs Love...

Lindsay Lohan, Raven Simone - Orange + Lemongrass Cleanser
Queen Latifah & Angela Bassett - Apricot + Lavendar Soothing Serum
Patricia Arquette & Cher - Carrot + Sandlewood Eye Butter
Amanda Bynes - Pineapple + Lime Cleanser
Paris Hilton, Tara Reid, Melanie Griffith & Christina Ricci - Various Products

Kevin Federline's New Rap Song

2005-11-07T13:14:00.000-05:00

You can listen here

Please understand by clicking on the above link you are listening at your own free will. I did not, nor would I ever, force a human being to listen to this song.

Mischa's Homeless Lover

2005-11-07T00:36:00.000-05:00

Mischa Barton's new man. 3 cases of Corona, 2 cases of Coors Light and you can look just like him!

"I had to padlock my bag because he tried to steal from me"

Jake Gyllenhaal Stole My Dog!

2005-11-07T00:13:00.000-05:00

Jake Gyllenhaal got a puggle before me! That's my dog Jarhead!

In other news.... I googled "puggle" and this lady's picture showed up.

I find this HILARIOUS!!!!!

How Young Is Too Young?

2005-11-07T00:02:00.000-05:00

I've been thinking about this question for the last five minutes. How young is too young to begin waxing eyebrows?

The answer: If you're Madonna's daughter I say the best time is the minute your caterpillar eyebrows begin to form a "V" in the middle of your head.

Shiny Much?

2005-11-06T22:08:00.000-05:00

Whenever you're having a problem with too much shine, a translucent powder is the answer. In the past, I have used Allison Raffaele's translucent powder, as used on Jennifer Lopez in Maid in Manhatten. However, I love finding new products and Jo Malone has crossed the pond and landed her first U.S. store in New York City. I like her philosophy on skin care. She's truthful and playful with her products, I think you'll like what you see.

Jo Malone - Finishing Powder - 12g/0.42oz

Kristen Cavalieri - Laguna Beach

2005-11-04T14:54:00.000-05:00

First, I'm sad I know her last name

Second, I'd like to smack the douchbag over the head who invented this trend.

Ashlee Simpson Fast Food Flipout

2005-11-03T23:32:00.000-05:00

Check out the video here.... Ashlee Fast Food Faux Pax

She calls a McDonald's worker a "bitch". Its good to know Ms. Simpson is such a class act.

Female Admiration

2005-11-02T23:09:00.000-05:00

I swear, I'm not a lesbian. Celebs are just bee-you-tee ful!!!!

Angelina.... post adoption

Alicia

Jennifer L.

Jennifer A.

Catherine

Well That's a Thought

2005-11-02T16:48:00.000-05:00

I can't believe i just clicked on this link. I'm getting desperate.

Guess Who's Ass?

2005-11-02T15:42:00.000-05:00

Guess who relies on a sticker for birth control?

(find out here)

Olsen Fashion

2005-11-02T00:42:00.000-05:00

For once!!!! Mary Kate isn't the one unfashionably dressed in this picture. I mean, its not the best outfit but what the in hell is that mess to the left?!?!?! Its like a barber pole gone terribly bad.

Also, Mary Kate looks like Chris "Jesus" Ferguson, World Series of Poker star.

Mariah Nip Slip

2005-11-02T00:38:00.000-05:00

Ahhh, remember those days when you used to walk out on the balcony with a white rose, see through shirt and flash your nips?

(image courtesy of JBB)

Perfumania

2005-11-01T20:34:00.000-05:00

Are you excited about Lindsay, Paris, Hilary or Nicole Ritchie's new perfumes? I hear each perfume has a slight scent of an eating disorder, mixed with a little coke and caffeine for a nice Hollywood balance. Sad to say, I'm going to pass on each. But which celebrity scent have I not passed on? Sarah Jessica Parker's new perfume, Lovely. Its the perfect name for a perfume that smells..... well..... Lovely. I love it and you should try it.
(Beauty Secret Alert!!!! If the perfume is too expensive for you, try the lotion instead. This beauty secret holds true for any perfume)

I'd Be a Lesbian for Rosario Dawson

2005-11-01T20:20:00.000-05:00

Is she not the most gorgeous woman ever in this pic?!?!?!?!
(image courtesy of JJB)

B-List meets D-List

2005-11-01T20:05:00.000-05:00

Sarah Michelle Gellar looks like she's in position to Karate Kid Jessie Spano's ass all the way back to Bayside.

Hollywood Droplet

2005-11-01T13:36:00.000-05:00

"I know, but my mom makes me take her out with me."

I'd be pissed if I was Haylie Duff, what did she do to deserve such a nose. Its like a slope on a double black diamond at Killington.

I Want a Job!

2005-10-31T23:14:00.000-05:00

As of the 29th, it has been one month since I quit the Guide! Unemployed for a month!?!?! Oh hell to the no. I was looking forward to having off for at least a week or two, but not THIS! I suppose most people, who are at work and reading this blog, are saying "Shut the fuck up, enjoy it while it lasts you bitch ass ho!". Well hold on there little fella. Don't get me wrong, I am enjoying this time off but let's face it, none of you fuckers click on my Google Ads and that leaves me with no money! Alright fine, that leaves me with $.07 a month. At that rate it would take me 7,142 months to pay for one month of rent. (If any of you whip out the Windows calculator to calculate that, i split rent with Joe). So what's a girl to do?

I've sent out a bazillion resumes and cover letters, but still don't have any leads. I have a feeling I'm in salary limbo; the area between living comfortably and getting salary fucked. Employers just don't want me :( Little do they know, I'm a flippin hoot! Maybe if the damn interviews weren't so friggin formal, they would get to know me. "What are you strengths?" "What are your weaknesses?" Blah, blah, blah. Well, let's see. My strengths are that I can go months without sex and my weaknesses???? hmmm. Sometimes I can be a real mofo from going months without sex, but realize I have to work on that.

Oh well, guess we'll see what happens. They say when it rains, it pours but I've yet to see any precipitation.

-Unemployed in Chi-Town.

Seventeen on MTV

2005-10-31T15:59:00.000-05:00

The only reason i ended up watching this show was beacause A) I am unemployed and B) because Seventeen's Editor in Chiefs' name is Atoosa Rubenstein. A woman with a name like that has got to be a great television personality. Right? WRONG! She should stick with her day job.

Don't watch it. Its boring and scripted. If i want to watch scripted reality, i'll watch Cheaters! Has anyone seen this show??!?!!? The host is my reality TV idol. "Roger 10-4, we're on the move!"

It's an Apothecary Table!

2005-10-28T13:17:00.000-04:00

"...from the days of your!"

I just wrote an amazing post about C.O. Bigelow and Aromatherapy, but Blogger said i sent a bad request and i lost the whole thing!!! Here's a recap of what i initially wrote. C.O. Bigelow is amazing, check it out. If you're not familiar with aromatherapy visit these two articles for a great introduction:

Oils for Emotional Well-Being

Essential Oil Recipes

I've used essential oils, such as, sweet orange (tangerine) and chammomile at home, and LOVE the results. Each help to achieve a sense of happiness and a positive outlook. If you want to give aromatherapy a shot, start out with C.O. Bigelow's Oil Burner or Light Bulb Rings. Burning the oils at home is GREAT!

Invisible Lip Liner

2005-10-27T10:46:00.000-04:00

Do you cringe at the thought of lip liner? Whenever i hear lip liner, i think of the dreaded lip liner faux pax. You know, way too dark liner on the outside, lighter on the inside. I'm reminded of Jennifer Lopez in her "Get Right" video when she's the stereotypical puerto rican girl in the bathroom.

If you're not a lip liner kind of gal, but hate it when your lipstick fades to quickly or feathers, DuWop has a solution. The DuWop Reverse Lip Liner.

"Imagine being able to shape your lips without creating harsh lines. This revolutionary, colorless, matte lip pencil is designed to be applied to the area just outside the lip line, to plump up fine lines and lock lip color in place. Reverse Lip Liner's miracle ingredient is Kambuchka, which is derived from black tea and wild mushrooms from Tibet. This unique ingredient has been proven to provide a "lip filling" reaction that restores volume where needed as it imparts essential moisture. Comes with a custom sharpener"

The liner has a slight tingle which yields volume. If the Lip Venom Lip Gloss is too much "venom" for you, the Reversible Liner is the solution for you. Available at Sephora.

Tip: Lip liner, in general, should be as close to your lipstick color as possible. Liner also makes color last longer and prevents feathering. Feathering is a common problem for older women with wrinkles surrounding the lips.

Fiji Water for Your Hair?

2005-10-26T23:04:00.000-04:00

Guaranteed, it would make a difference. Remember when I told you Jonathan Antin would be coming out with a water purification filter system for your shower? No? Well then pay attention Dilbert! Back in July, I mentioned this would be coming to fruition. Well ladies and genitals, it has. And it's available at Sephora.

I'm going to make Joe purchase this for me, and when I get it, I'll give a review. I can only imagine this will make an amazing difference not only for the hair, but for the skin as well. Wow! This is exciting!

Trannie Makeup

2005-10-25T21:20:00.000-04:00

In searching to see what some of the new and latest trends are in makeup, I came across "Makeup Tips for the Transgender Community" . If you're having trouble covering up that pesky five o'clock shadow, this is the website for you. Enjoy

Hollywood Droplet

2005-10-25T00:20:00.000-04:00

Why does Jen look so shocked?

There's a sign on this woman's back that says, "Janet Jackson has an 18 year old daughter."

Laguna Beach

2005-10-24T22:04:00.000-04:00

Watching Laguna Beach right now.

-Stephen can't hug Kristin or L.C. without making an awkward obnoxious noise.
-At least Jason and L.C. agree that their hookup is random.
-Oooo, hot tub action... at the grandparents' house? Gross.
(commercial for RENT. I can't fuckin wait!. Rosario Dawson as Mimi!!!! 525,600 minutes)
-what's with the girl with blonde roots and black ends?
-oooh, frying pan present fakeout!
-Anybody else freaked by that scary ass statue in Casey's house?
-That's right Alex M., get your ass out of the country!
-Aww, i wanna graduate from high school again.
-How many fucking Alex's go to this school?
-If you gain the freshman 15, we'll all love to watch you get fat on television
-Shutup Casey, you mean Amelda made your friends lunch
-Jason loves Lauren?
-So can't wait for next Monday!!!!

Are you a BeeYouTee Groupee?

2005-10-24T20:43:00.000-04:00

Add yourself to the BeeYouTee Groupee FRAPPR! map now.

http://www.frappr.com/beeyouteesecrets

Beauty Secret - Winter Moisturizer

2005-10-24T09:43:00.000-04:00

Winter is right around the corner and you need to think about buying your winter moisturizer. The cold, windy, dry winter weather has a more drying effect on your skin, so you need to compensate. My suggestions:

Aveda Tourmaline Charged Hydrating Cream ($32.00, Aveda)
Skinceuticals Daily Emollience ($49.50, Skin Store)

Don't forget about your SPF, the sun's rays are just as damaging during the winter too.

Cheap Microdermabrasion

2005-10-20T20:38:00.000-04:00

Being an esthetician, I've been fortunate enough to receive such outstanding services as Microdermabrasion and chemical peels. Wondering why celebritys' skin looks so illuminous at red carpet events? They went to their esthetician or dermatologists for some microderm. Each of these procedures is exfoliating, but think of it as exfoliating on steroids. However, their prices are on steroids too! Microderm and chemical peels can get pricey, so here is my suggestion for an alternative; Aveda Tourmaline Charged Skin Refiner. How do you know this stuff will work? Well, for one, Aveda doesn't sell it to the general public; its only sold to professionals. Two, I'm telling you it does. I use it religiously every two days and my skin has never looked so good.

So how can YOU get it? Answer: Ebay. Right now, there is a professional sized bottle priced at $49.95. I can't tell you how worth it this 8.5ounce bottle is. I've had the same sized bottle for the past year and still have more than half the tube left.

When applying, make sure your face is damp, pump enough to cover your fingertip. Making sure your face is damp will help to spread the refiner more quickly and efficiently. Now, don't go crazy rubbing this stuff in! Its professionally sold for a reason. Gently spread in a circular motion. GENTLY. If you feel like you can be more aggressive, because you know your skin better than I do, you can, but just don't grind it in. If it feels like its drying during the application, just wet your fingertips and continue on. Spread in a circular motion all over the face for two-three minutes. You can let the mask set for ten minutes. After ten minutes, wet your fingertips again and begin to moisten the mask. Moistening the mask before taking it off will make the process much easier. Get a wet wash cloth, or throw water on your face (like the Neutrogena commercial) to remove the mask. It might take a few times before the mask is completely off because its very grainy. Follow up with moisturizer and you'll see a difference right away.

P.S. To make sure you get the most results on Ebay, search for: "Aveda refiner"

I'm A Sellout

2005-10-20T20:35:00.000-04:00

I must extend my deepest apologies to those who actually read this blog in hopes of receiving Beauty Secrets. I got caught up in the hard to resist celebrity gossip and I apologize. Since my move from Philadelphia to Chicago I now vow to post legitimate Beauty Secrets with droplets of "fun" celebrity gossip!

Please forgive me... and Welcome Back!!!

Christina During Her Not So Flattering Days

2005-10-17T10:11:00.000-04:00

Her stomach looks like Fat Albert's lips.

Ashton Demi Wedding Pics

2005-10-13T09:45:00.000-04:00

IDontLikeYouInThatWay has pics of Ashton and Demi's wedding.

Hey Ashton, Al Capone called, he wants his hat back.

Demi's skin... FLAWLESS. That's what microdermabrasion will do people.

Cynthia Nixon and a woman, or a man, or a woman.

2005-10-12T10:15:00.000-04:00

Since the fuckers at Bruno Press now require a membership to login, we had to settle for ugly lesbian couples... and here's the ugliest, Cynthia Nixon and her lesbian lover, Pat.

You want a beauty secret? Do everything you can NOT to look like the woman on the left.

Tom and Katie Expecting a Child

2005-10-05T17:47:00.000-04:00

In the world of blogs this has been a HUGE day!

First, the Loho wreck. Then, the Nick and Jessica split. And now, a Cruise/Holmes baby! Something isn't right. I think these events could possibly tilt the earth on its axis.

Nick and Jessica are KAPUT!

2005-10-05T13:10:00.000-04:00

Pink is the New Blog is reporting that Nick and Jessica are dunsky! According to a source at US Weekly the news will be officially announced later this month.

Lohan Car Wreck

2005-10-05T08:59:00.000-04:00

(From Bruno Press) 10-04-05 Beverly Hills, Ca Actress Lindsay Lohan, who was reportedly drinking and smoking at The Ivy in Beverly Hills, crashed her 120,000-dollar Mercedes into an oncoming Red Van. The driver of the van was rushed to the hospital in an ambulance and Lindsay and her friends ducked into the ironically named Hideaway Antique Shop near the scene. Both cars were totalled and towed away. Lindsay left out the back of the Antique shop in an ambulance but apparently suffered minor injuries. Police are reportedly investigating whether Lohan was driving under the infuence of drugs or alchohol...

"Pssst. Hey Kid! Help me hide!"

I Asked For Lighter... Not Orange

2005-10-04T09:37:00.000-04:00

If i wanted this color, i would've brought the above picture!

Humans or Deer?

2005-10-03T23:17:00.000-04:00

Or...

Fantasia Barrino Can't Read This Blog

2005-10-03T11:06:00.000-04:00

Fantastia Barrino has told ABC's 20/20 that she's illiterate.

Also in the news, Fantasia Barrino is releasing a memoir, "Life Is Not A Fairy Tale". Hmmm, does anyone else see a potential problem here?

"Hey Fantasia, what's your new book about?"

"Fuck if i know!"

Tids & Bits

2005-10-03T08:10:00.000-04:00

Jessica Simpson wedding ring watch!

Negative

Lindsay Lohan, on the set of her new music video. Straight Jacket chic?

What a f*cking mess! That double chin is hot!

From Chicago with Love

2005-09-30T17:54:00.000-04:00

I've created a blog for the Chicago journey. Take a peek.

Mary Kate and Ashley Olsen

2005-09-30T10:16:00.000-04:00

The Olsen twins really now how to avoid paparazzi. Look how discreet they are!

Come to think of it, the last time i went to the airport I had three bodyguards, put my head down the whole time and held onto my Dad's arm while he guided me.

Hey Olsen Dad, those socks rock!

Last DAY at the Guide!

2005-09-29T09:15:00.000-04:00

It's my last day of work! Woo-Hoo!!!! I quit my job and i'm moving to Chicago with my baby kangaroo!

Wish me Luck!!!

Hugh Likes Syrup

2005-09-28T11:00:00.000-04:00

This is a picture of Hugh Grant and his new gal pal, Jemima Khan. Yes, i said JEMIMA!

Please tell me this girl has nieces and nephews.

"Aunt Jemima, can you make me some pancakes?"

"Aunt Jemima, how bout some waffles?"

"Aunt Jemima, can you pass me the syrup?"

"No, i want Aunt Jemima syrup Aunt Jemima!"

Sean Preston Federline

2005-09-28T10:50:00.000-04:00

"Don't worry Y'all, Kev says he's a gonna lose the baby weight in a month"

In other news, Kevin's hairdo is looking sumo-esque.

Guess Who?

2005-09-28T10:19:00.000-04:00

Oh Jessica. Was it Nick's $750,000 Abercrombie and Fitch deal that made you jealous. C'mon, throw the guy a bone, he'll always be Mr. Jessica Simpson.

Alicia Keys Beauty Secrets

2005-09-27T11:57:00.000-04:00

First, i love Alicia Keys. She's a true artist and if you've never seen her live, you're missing out. Second, I love her makeup.

I read in a recent issue of InStyle that Alicia uses Neutrogena Visibly Even liquid (Golden Tan) makeup as a foundation because she loves that its not too heavy. As i'm sure many of you know, Alicia has used Proactiv to clear up minor acne. Neutrogena is a very skin conscious line, so their products are lightweight. She also loves Rosebud Salve from Sephora.

If you're worried about makeup clogging pores just cleanse and moisturize your face at night. Leaving makeup on overnight will cause problematic skin.

Trump and Melania... Preggers

2005-09-27T11:16:00.000-04:00

There's a trump bun in the oven! (ABC NEWS.com)

Christina Aguilera's Bachelorette Party

2005-09-26T14:41:00.000-04:00

Oooooo, i see a nip slip from Xtina's bridesmaid. Not quite as juicy as a celeb nip slip, but entertaining nonetheless. And i wonder where that booger ended up! Gross! That other girl, below the nip slip look like she just picked a winner and is examining it. Who does Christina surround herself with?!?!?!

Can we say "White Trash"?

Who knew she had such great legs!

The group partied it up in Cabo San Lucas and stayed at the one and only Palmilla Resort. By day they lounged at the pool and by night it was Cabo Wabo and Mi Casa. Christina's tiara says "Bride To Be" and the chain around her neck is a "B" standing for her soon to be last name, Bratman.

Ashton & Demi Are....

2005-09-26T14:26:00.000-04:00

MARRIED!!!

Congratulations to Demi & Ashton!!!

Funny Sh*t

2005-09-23T16:38:00.000-04:00

You Can't Make It Up has done it again ---> Happy Birthday

Actress Taryn Manning on Jetblue Airliner

2005-09-23T16:20:00.000-04:00

When the plane finally touched down safely amid a shower of sparks and smoke as its front tire disintegrated, Manning said passengers burst into a deafening round of cheers and applause.

"It sounded like Dodger Stadium in there," she said.

(Read full article at cnn.com)

Hollywood Yawns

2005-09-23T14:11:00.000-04:00

Didn't your mother ever tell you to cover your mouth when you yawn?

Anyone else get the image of Chewbacca and that mating sound he makes?

HEYYYYYYYY YOUUUUUUU GUYSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!

- Sloth From Goonies.

Friday's Beauty Secret

2005-09-23T10:20:00.000-04:00

I've stumbled upon a wonderful beauty secret that I'd like to share, hair powder. Being the naturally curly but wear my hair straight girl that I am, it would take a lot of time to straighten my hair EVERY single day. Because I don't have the time to do this, I forgo washing my hair every day, as many of us women do. However, we all know that not washing the hair yields oily roots. Baby powder to the rescue (well almost). For the past few years I have been applying a small amount of baby powder to problem areas in hopes that it will absorb the oil. Positive, it DOES absorb the oil. Negative, since I have dark brown hair the white powder really doesn't mesh well.

During my short stint at Sephora a young lady came into the store looking for Bumble and Bumble's Hair Powder. "What is this hair powder you speak about young beauty conscious female?", I thought to myself. Unfortunately, we didn't have the product but I did some investigating and found it at Bumble and Bumble's website (Products, Styling, Specialty, Hair Powder). Alas, they have it in different colors!!! White, Black, Brown and Red. I immediately purchased the brown Hair Powder. Could this finally be the end to my gray "becuase i have baby powder in my hair" hair? Answer, YES! Bumble and Bumble's Hair Powder is a wonderful dry shampoo and really does absorb the oil. I was so pleased with the results that I just HAD to share. Extra added surprise, it adds volume too!!!

Visit Bumble and Bumble to find a salon near you. I believe Bumble and Bumble is carried at Blue Mercury and to save money, you can find it on Ebay --->

Lindsay Lohan doesn't look in mirrors

2005-09-23T00:12:00.000-04:00

Grandmom? Is that you?

Hillary Duff and Lindsay Lohan are STILL fighting

2005-09-22T12:54:00.000-04:00

Lloyd Groove's Lowdown of the NY Post is reporting that Lohan and Duff are at it again. Read it here --> Pooling Allies in Teen Queen Tiff

And to think, the whole fight started over this douchebag:

Squirrel on the loose

2005-09-22T10:52:00.000-04:00

From Carrcakes

“Squirrel loose in bathroom, door closed for containment."

-As written on the woman’s bathroom on my floor at work.

Tids & Bits

2005-09-22T08:56:00.000-04:00

I can't wait for the day when my thigh is the width of a venti-soy-decaf-chai tea latte.

I guess this is Kimberly Stewart's attempt to smooth things over with Jennifer Aniston. If i was Jennifer Aniston I'd wear a hat that says "You're as ugly as your father"

R to the O to the O-T-S.

Kenny Chesney

2005-09-21T13:51:00.000-04:00

Kenny: "Renee! Hold my mic, i gotta pee"

Renee: "No, you're a FRAUD. There's no penis in those pants!!"

Jennifer Aniston's Highlights

2005-09-21T10:12:00.000-04:00

So you want Jennifer Aniston's highlights? Michael Canale has been coloring Jennifer Aniston's hair since she joined the cast of "Friends," and her spectacular results led to Courteney Cox Arquette and Lisa Kudrow becoming clients as well. The secret behind their much-admired tresses is a gloss sealer applied on top of expert color. Visit Canale Salon at www.canalesalon.com

If you live in the Philadelphia/New Jersey area any one of Philadelphia's top salons can likely yield the same beautiful results. But ladies, nothing is ever free so you're going to pay. Visit www.phillystylemag.com and their spa guide to find your perfect salon.

To ensure that the salon you choose uses the same products as Canale Salon, here is a list of Canale's Products:

Kerastase - They are a Kerastase Consultant Salon
L'Oreal Serie Expert

Salon Thalia in Philadelphia uses Kerastase products.

Inundation of Perverts to my Blog

2005-09-20T12:32:00.000-04:00

Being the obsessed blogger that I am, I like to see how people find my site. Thank the Lord for Sitemeter. Today alone, there has been a throng of people to my blog all looking for one thing; the Lizzie Grubman Hulk Hogan picture. Who knew Lizzie's chicken filet would bring so much attention to my blog. Hey Hulk, thanks for flashing her roast beef curtains for us. I mean, i don't get the enjoyment that i'm sure your run of the mill internet pervert gets, but whatever brings the traffic is worth it. So, if any of you out there come across pics of celebrity vertical bacon sandwiches, send them along!

Jennifer on Oprah

2005-09-20T11:40:00.000-04:00

Jennifer Aniston sounded every bit the single woman on yesterday's Oprah show. Check out the article from the AP ----> Jennifer on Oprah

"It's the media that won't move on," she said. "You just want to say, `Come on, people! Turn a page!" When Winfrey asked Aniston if she was ready to "start the whole dating thing again," the 36-year-old actress emphatically replied, "yes" — checking her watch as if to say it was time.

Aniston said she's now in a good place: "I'm not sitting somewhere dwelling on the past. I'm not fretting or obsessing about something in the future." She was clearly more at ease than during a recent Vanity Fair magazine interview in which she was emotional, but resilient. She said then she was "trying to pick up the pieces in the midst of this media circus."

Aniston joked that "if I had a dollar for every (self-help) book that was sent my way, I could have probably paid for this studio" — referring to the new set of Winfrey's show. Oprah replied, "You would need $2".
(you funny billionaire you!)

I have to admit, i really wanted Oprah to ask about Angelina, but she never did. Oprah should know that if anyone could've asked about the big handed bitch, its her!! Oprah is the almighty powerful media giant. For god's sake, Jennifer is giving $10 million to Oprah's Angel Network. Oprah, if you can get $10 million from the girl, you can surely get some dirt on Ms. "i love oprhans" Jolie. Nonetheless, i still enjoyed the show.

Britney's New Album

2005-09-19T12:17:00.000-04:00

IDon'tLikeYouInThatWay.com has found three tracks from Britney's new album. It sounds like Brit Brit demanded that the Fedster be allowed to mix her new songs. The song "Over To You Now" has made my ears bleed uncontrollably. Ever walk past an arcade with a gazillion games going all at once? That's what that song sounds like.

Take a listen for yourself ----> Britney's Shitty New Music.

Emmy 2005 Recap

2005-09-19T11:34:00.000-04:00

Best Dressed. Red hair and emerald dresses can't lose.

A little eye candy

Her "clunk" comment during the housewives skit saved the whole thing. Who thought Teri Hatcher acting like Charlie Chaplin was funny?

Hate her, love the dress.

Too skinny, but beautiful dress.

Did a cougar maul her chest before the arrivals?

So cute. Love her.

Impeccable makeup. Flawless skin. Love the hoops.

Why was she at the Emmy's again?

Don't you have a baby seal to tend to?

You look great by the way.

Don't worry Jeremy, she's a hooch. You don't have to try that hard.

See, this is what happens when you're a bitch. The people with whom she surrounds herself with are so terrified of her that they don't tell what is clearly Barney's formal wear.

By the way Starr, your head keeps getting bigger, literally. Your head alone must weigh seventy five pounds.

Oh Melania, you better be getting some serious scratch from the divorce because i don't know how you do it.

One time, at band camp, I was asked to attend the Emmy's and i don't know why.

I've had it with Jennifer Lopez

2005-09-16T10:07:00.000-04:00

For all who know me, i used to LOVE Jennifer Lopez. Personally, i now feel this admiration for her was probably a character flaw. She was great in Selena and I was excited for her first album. I stood through the gangsta phase with Diddy and the made famous by Britney "I married a back up dancer" phase. The Bennifer journey was tough, but i stood through that too. It was amusing to see how she would dress us Ben like her favorite childhood dollie. The Bennifer break up was bound to happen and it was laughable when it did. THEN I found out she was a homewrecker. I remember watching that Christina show on Telefutura or something. (If you didnt know, Christina is like the Spanish Oprah) Christina had Dyanara Torres on, Marc Anthony's ex-wife. The woman was distraught and although i couldn't understand a lick of what they were saying, i managed to pull from college Spanish classes and decipher that Dyanara said "Jennifer Lopez broke up my marriage". MAN!!! I should hate this woman by now, but why does she have such a hold over me. Maybe it was the washing machine dance in Selena or the fact that she made the big booty acceptable, i don't know but she may be a minion of the anit-christ. Well Ladies and Gentleman, I've confirmed it! Jennifer Lopez is the next coming of Satan. Jennifer Lopez has bottomed out, she is a monster of a human being, she is a wretched monkey, she should be tortured by having to shop at the Salvation Army. Jennifer Lopez had her bodyguard monkeys tear off Heather Mills McCartney's prosthetic leg!!!!! That's it!!! It's over!!

"The incident happened on Tuesday as the model turned animal rights activist attempted to deliver a People For The Ethical Treatment Of Animals (PETA) DVD showing creatures being killed for fur to Lopez, following a demonstration at which the 37-year-old pleaded with fans to boycott the superstar's music, movies and clothes because she uses fur in her fashion range, Sweetface.

After striding into the building opposite Manhattan's Bryant Park, accompanied by an entourage of journalists and photographers, McCartney Mills - who lost a leg after being hit by a car in 1993 - was confronted by burley minders who yelled: "You have no authority to be here. "Get out! Leave the floor immediately!"

In the tussle that ensued, Mills McCartney's prosthetic leg became detached. She bent down and clutched her knee in pain, before asking to use a bathroom so she could reattach the leg.

Guards refused and she was forced to cling onto a photographer as she carried out the humiliating task on a stairwell. "

This, my friends, is why i now despise Jenny from the Block. I got a good mind to march down to Lopez's office and demand her right arm. That's right J.LO, i want your right arm! Then i want to fit you for a prosthetic right arm and fight you in jousting match. I'll use my joust to knock that arm right off your shoulder. You'll stand there humiliated and say "Marc, Marc, my right arm. Get it for me Papi!!!" And just as Marc Anthony goes to grab your right arm, i'll pounce on him like a cat on speed. Jennifer Lopez, hop on the 6 and go back to Bronx. We don't like you anymore, you prosthetic leg ripper offer!

Yea, take that Bitch!! You don't look so cool now, do you? Jumping up in the air with only one arm isn't that easy is it?

Jessica's Middle Finger

2005-09-16T09:58:00.000-04:00

That's a really intense middle finger. See how she has bent her knuckles and the strain of the muscles in her forearm?

Maybe Nick pissed her off by asking her to cut back on the coke and not cheat on him anymore.

Hillary Duff

2005-09-15T15:52:00.000-04:00

"You see, the new thing in Hollywood is to lose so much weight that you can fit into your purse. See, this is my new pink one. Its quite roomy."

America really chose this guy?????

2005-09-15T12:57:00.000-04:00

The President needs to tinkle.

A Side of Lizzie Grubman...

2005-09-15T12:50:00.000-04:00

We wished we hadn't seen.

Listen, if Hulk Hogan is going to pick you up on the red carpet and expose your snatch, you could at least put some underwear on.

Funny Blog

2005-09-14T15:40:00.000-04:00

This bitch is hilarious. Check her out.

http://youcantmakeitup.blogspot.com/2005/08/munchkin-policy.html